Everybody Needs A Kitten
by purplelights
Summary: Don't you think that Kirkwall would be a better place if certain people got a kitten?Hawke goes on a mission, and gives kittens to a lot of people. Just to make you laugh and/or smile. mostly fluff. T for Isabela comments
1. Chapter 1

**Everybody needs a kitten, and I strongly support this, if certain characters in dragon age had gotten a kitten, then maybe Kirkwall would be a happier place. So, who needs a kitten?

Anders (Well duh!)

Fenris (He needs something to do other than follow Hawke around and get drunk in his filthy mansion)

The Arishock (Give him some compassion for him.)

Meredith (Lady, you need to have something to do other than oppress mages.)

The Tal'Vashoth (Stop killing people and get a kitten)

Merrill (Let's try to keep her out of the Viscounts' gardens, huh?)

Hawke is female rogue,had a romance with Fenris, choosing Templar side, even with Bethany in the circle.

Yes, it is controversial, but the thinking behind it will hopefully sneak itself in to this fic.

Here we go…**

* * *

"Anders, I have a job for you." Hawke appeared in front of him just as he was turning around.

"Ah, Hawke, that whole shadow thing is getting a little excessive." Anders jumped back a little.

"Maybe, but Athenril was right, I'm really good at it. " Hawke sat down on one of the tables." I think we need to find some kittens."

"That would be nice, I've always wanted another one since I had to give Ser Pounce A lot away. Did you know that once Ser Po-"

"I know, Anders, you've told me before, let's go. I think we'll bring along Merrill, and Varic on this one."

Hawke led Anders up the staircase and into Lowtown, and taking a detour, spent a while inquiring around the market for kittens. Nothing showed up.

"Well, let's just go and get Merrill then." Hawke walked off with her apostate trailing behind her.

"_Knock-Knock. _Merrill, it's me, Hawke."

Merrill opened the door, "Oh, Hawke, Anders, come in, I'll clear off a chair."

"That's ok, I just wanted to know if you'd like to come along and help me find some kittens." Hawke asked.

"Kittens?" Merrill asked.

"Yes, kittens. You're going to get one." Hawke paused, "Right, Let's go!"

"Varic, I need you on a job. We're looking for some kittens, and there aren't any in the Lowtown market, any ideas?"

Varic looked at her. "Only you Hawke."

"Yes, but do you think you can find some?" Anders popped in./

"Blondie, I know where to find anything in this city. They might be selling cats to the Hanged Man, mystery meat stew could be cat stew."

"Let's talk to the bartender."

"Hey Isabela, find any more good hat shops?" Hawke said.

"No but guess what else I found? A lead on the relic I'm looking for, I think it might be in the dirty hands of the group that's been in the wounded coast lately."

"Do you need me to come with you?"

"Sure" Isabela looked at her, "What are you doing here in the middle of the day, with," She looked over Hawke's shoulder, "Anders and Kitten?"

"Were looking for kittens."

"I could think of a few uses for a kitten."

"No. No, and no." Hawke looked at her sternly.

Hawke turned to the bartender, "Do you have any kittens?"

He looked at her, _I thought she just came in…,_ cleared his throat, and told her that his cat supplier was located in the docks.

"Alright, let's go to the docks."

At the docks, they followed some people around and eventually found the hideout.

"Were not going to break down their door, are we?"Merill asked.

"Well, if it's not locked."  
It was, so Hawke broke it down, and a flood of ten or so cats ran out, making Hawke fall to the ground.

* * *

"Stop laughing and grab a couple!"


	2. Chapter 2

Everybody needs a kitten! Chapter 2: The Actual Storage of the Multiple Kittens.

Three kittens and three cats. _What a score, _Hawke thought to herself as she herded them back home. She had Varric, Anders, and Merrill still with her.

However, there was one problem with the cats, Fred-Bert, Hawke's dog, thought they were food, so now they were living in the entrance room. Sandal loved them, but there was no place for them in the strangely furniture less Hawke estate.

* * *

Knock… "Fenris?" Knock, knock…" Fenris! Open the door." Hawke was holding a cat, with another two in her pack. Isabela had one and Merrill was fondling a tiny calico kitten.

"What? Oh, its you Hawke. And why is there a cat?" Fenris looked at the cats.

"My dog thinks they're food. Here." Hawke shoved the cat in his arms and marched in to his house.

"Now, where should we put them? Do you have any place that's clean in this house, Fenris. I mean, there are cobwebs every where! And look! There's a body! I swear that someday I'll clean this place, but I was hoping you would do it. You need to clean at least one room, for the cats." Hawke walked up the stairs with out a glance to see if they were following her."Well, here's as good a place as any. You really need to clean."

Hawke pulled down a lot of the cobwebs, then shoved around some empty barrels and crates, creating a semi-cat friendly room. She set down all six cats, but one was only down for a minute.

"Hawke, can I have this one?" Merrill asked, cuddling the calico kitten she had held before.

"Sure, just don't let Anders name it. Ser Pounce A lot, and , or Wiggims?" Hawke paused, trying to remember which name the Ferelden Circle's cat was named.

"Like Fred-Berts a good name for a dog." Varric said, brushing cat hair off his custom tailored coat.

"I let Carver and Bethany name him, since my father got him for Carver in the first place." Hawke dug around in her pack, and pulled out a pair of torn trousers.

"You know, I am sick of finding _torn_ trousers. I am going to sew one up someday, and then I'll be able to out smart the tailor. He buys them for way less than he sells them for." Hawke Started ripping them in to strips.

"What are those for?" Fenris asked, now resigned to the cats staying in his house.

"Cat toys, of course."

* * *

Eventually, the little room was a Hawke- certified safe for cats room. But what did Hawke want to do with them in the first place?

Im sorry its short.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Kittens For Anders, Fenris, and Meredith

Hawke went over to Fenris's house and chose a small orange tabby cat. Putting him in her pack, she walked down to Darktown and, winding her way through the sewers, she came to the clinic.

"Anders, I have a present for you." Hawke sat down on one of the tables.

"I hope I can actually wear it outside." Anders said, referring to the illegal necklace that Hawke gave him last.

"Well, maybe you do want to keep this present secret, too, think you'll like him better." Hawke pulled out the cat.

"Aww, he's one of the cats you saved, right?"Anders picked him up, and the cat swiped him on the nose."Ow. You have such sharp claws! I think your name should be...Capitan Claws. Is that a good name for a cat? Do you like it, Capitan Claws?"Anders was talking in a very high-pitched voice.

Hawke sighed, "See you later Anders, I'll come by tomorrow, I might need you on a job"

Anders didn't reply.

* * *

A few days later, Hawke went over to Fenris's house after one of the Kirkwall nobility parties. Fenris let her in and she immediately went to check on the cats.

"How long are you going to keep them here, Hawke." He said,watching her bounce around a string for a smallish gray and white tabby.

"Well, I still need to give them all away. You need one, too, the rats are getting crazy in here."

"I don't think I need a cat, Hawke."

"Yes, you do, in fact, you need this one." She picked up the tabby and held it up to his face. "She's so cute! Just look at her! Tell me you can resist the kitten." The cat let out a meow. "See? She likes you!" Hawke dropped the cat in his arms. "This ones yours."

Fenris looked at the cat. He looked at Hawke, who had her no-arguing face on. "Fine, I still don't want her though."

Hawke knew he did, but didn't say anything. "Right, this one, "She picked up a tiny black tom,"Is for Meredith."

* * *

"Hawke, is this a good idea? She might think the cat is some mage trick."Varric said behind Hawke as she marched up the stairs to the Gallows.

"You have a point, Varric, but I think she needs a kitten." Hawke stopped." It's for the greater good. The Templars need a strong, non-crazy leader. Meredith should have a kitten, something to eat up her spare time. Just because she's knight commander doesn't mean she should get to take her position on a power trip."

"How does that relate to her getting a kitten?" Isabela asked.

"It just does."

Heading up to the Templar courtyard, Hawke started to pull out the kitten.

"Right, there is a plan. We take the kitten up there, we set the kitten down, then we leave. the kitten will be found, and then we will have a better knight commander." Hawke looked around, "Questions?"

"Hawke, are you sure you won't get in trouble, I don't want to arrest you." Avaline said.

Hawke paused, "Eh, it's not like I shouldn't be arrested."

Avaline sighed.


	4. Chapter 4

Hawke dug around in her surprising large pack. A few stale biscuits, a bag of pebbles, and a piece of parchment. She found a quill and wrote a message on the parchment:

_Meredith,  
I hope you like the cat, his name's Cinder. Take care of him and he'll keep the mouse population down.  
_  
Hawke didn't sign it, but she tied the note on to a ribbon around the cat's neck. "Be quiet now, little kitty, I still have to get you to her office door."

"Where did 'Cinder' come from, the cat's not gray." Isabela said, reading the note.

"It's ironic," Hawke said scratching the cat between his ears, "He's not a Shadow or a Midnight, Cinder seems to fit him."

Tucking the kitten under her armor, she marched up to Meredith's door, dropped the kitten, and walked as fast as possible back out of the gallows; nodding to the Templar's questioning looks. They couldn't do any thing even if they tried.

By the time three weeks had passed, there were two cats left, and a litter on the way. Hawke hadn't given the other two away yet, and none of her friends could figure out who she was going to give them to. Hawke had a plan, but no one else knew it.

Hawke showed up at Fenris's mansion, and took the brown tabby tom. "Let's go Fenris, I want to do this quick."

"Do what, Hawke." Fenris asked warily.

"I'm giving this cat, to the Arishok. Maybe he'll give him a place in the Qun. I think that he could be the Guardian of Fun. That's what they need."

A the Qunari camp, Hawke had a plan again. "So, were going to climb up the wall, I'll shoot an arrow over to the other side of the camp, the Arishok will send a few guards to investigate, and in that time, we will be on the other side of the camp, in the building and setting the kitten down from a window. Then we get the hell out of here."

Fenris agreed, not without scilent protest, and they climbed up to the top of the building. It was getting dark, which helped since it was a little out of the ordinary to see an elf and a noble climbing up the side of the docks.

On the top, Hawke pulled out an arrow, and aimed. She made the shot, right over the Arishok's guards' heads, but they were to slow to duck down.

"Run." Hawke said.

And they did, all they way down the building, hopping from window to window, and when they got to the ground they ran all the way back to Lowtown, hiding behind butcher shop, the guards didn't see them.


End file.
